Covid-19 Lockdown life with Adult Children

The imposed ‘Lockdown’ in 2020 by the UK Government meant 2 of our 3 children had to return home. The youngest because he is a university student and all the educational facilities were closing down and going ‘online’. The eldest because she had been  working in the USA, her contract had recently finished and she was planning to do some travelling in the Americas before heading back – the Foreign Office instruction to UK tourists aboard to ‘come home’ put paid to all her plans. Rather than be isolated in her Edinburgh apartment she headed straight from LHR to us.

Although we did see our children regularly my husband and I were used to having the house to ourselves so adjustments had to be made – it had been a long time since our house had groaned with the weight of teenage ‘clobber’. We are fortunate to have space and I quickly realised that to maintain harmony it would be beneficial to have divisions, which were discussed and agreed. As both were studying (one full time and one part-time) the dining room became a joint study and general dumping ground during the week for their ‘stuff’. This avoided their bedrooms becoming too chaotic and remained a peaceful sanctuary for sleeping and escape.

Thanks to modern technology they both recorded video presentations, sat exams and held project meetings with fellow students. It was interesting to observe how educational requirements could be delivered in this way and ensured that they maintained some level of communication with tutors and friends. I benefited as they taught me about Zoom – and soon we were having weekly family ‘catch-ups’ and quizzes.

When the Yoga teacher from my weekly class decided to offer a weekly Zoom class I was there – and able to offer advice on how to use the software to others in the class, and call through for assistance from the in-house IT team if needed! I then encouraged other groups that I belong to try it out, with mixed success although many of us ‘retirees’ are more capable than we believe ourselves to be.

Although their studies are important it was also important to ensure that there was some enjoyment during the ‘lock down’ so we introduced ‘Saturday Games Night’ –a family  meal followed by a chosen game. I am not a fan of Monopoly so using online shopping was especially useful to browse then obtain new games. I became a fan of ‘Ticket to Ride’ although I only won once. We re-discovered card games, ‘Pick up Pigs’ and Uno. The meal itself was to be something not often cooked – usually because it was particularly time consuming, well now we had plenty of time.

Becoming even more adventurous one Saturday Emma arranged a Cocktail Party. We dressed up and learnt how to make our own simple cocktails prior to dining on Rotisserie Chicken Caesar Salad – having cooked the rotisserie style chicken myself as the local supermarkets were not doing them at present.

We also searched online for evening entertainment – and discovered many ‘live’ performances on YouTube ( ) which helped reduce boredom alongside offering an opportunity to see performances that previously would have passed us by. Another ‘find’ was the Friday Night Quiz presented by Darlington Hippodrome ( it can also be accessed via their FaceBook page) The question master, Julian Cound, ensures everyone has  a fun evening (and understands the rules). As the quiz is usually 7.30 to 9.00pm we arrange a ‘Takeaway’ meal for approx. 7.00pm making the evening a social event whilst supporting a local business and giving the usual chefs an evening off.

We also managed to celebrate Easter with an Egg Hunt. 

And, a birthday with a party and cake (a special cake decorated by Emma)

When the children were young, whatever was going on, we all ate a Sunday Roast Dinner in the evening and planned the week ahead – we re-introduced this which I think added a sense of normality to our situation.

We are fortunate in living within walking distance of  Hardwick Park ( ) so enjoyed daily walks around the park and were able to photograph the emerging Spring, we also were lucky enough to notice frog spawn and then tadpoles in one of the small  lakes. Normally we walk too fast and infrequently to take in the small details, we also noticed how noisy the birds were early in the morning – then realised that it was the noise of rush hour traffic that was missing.

Another opportunity presented by the lock down was to reduce the number of tasks on my ‘To-Do-List’, although no sooner did I complete an unfinished sewing project or spring-clean a set of cupboards  more jobs were added on the list . I fear my list will never be completed.

We had reason to call out an emergency plumber (blocked pipe back-flowing through ceilings!) which added a sense of emergency and entertainment one day. Whilst still maintaining social distancing it was good to have another conversation in the house. This also highlighted that the seal around the bath needed re-doing so I learnt a new skill – taught by daughter – in how to apply silicone sealant. I now feel confident enough to tackle the seal around the kitchen sink, (although Emma undertook that task too as I think my role is more ‘assistant’).

Alongside keeping a sense of ‘living’ in the home we also maintained contact with extended family members via telephone (still think voices are better than emails), assisted elderly neighbours by shopping and baking treats.  Aware that some friends were finding the situation challenging I also visited and had face-to-face conversations whilst maintaining social-distancing visits to those finding life challenging. I am sure that anyone walking past was entertained as I shouted from the pavement to a friend standing in the doorway – just as well we were not sharing secrets. Whilst, perhaps, acting at the edge of what was acceptable I am sure that these 10-minute chats had a lasting benefit and helped those unable to leave their homes.

We were so lucky with the weather, if this had occurred in deepest winter it would have been a bigger struggle for many.  Despite working from home (WFH) my husband was in the garden for hours on end, we even had the occasional BBQ and sat out on a morning with coffee. Newly hatched ducklings arrived from a nearby stream, and we watched them eat under the bird table, the birdbox had a nest with 4 eggs so we looked in daily via the in-box camera.


Hardwick Park

Whilst, as a family, we were able to cope with the restrictions (although I was always short of flour and yeast) and to find pleasure in many of the things we did I am very aware that many struggled. These struggles and difficulties took on many shapes – financial, well-being, boredom, physical – and for many it will take a long time to recover. As a family we clapped every Thursday for all Key Workers and having been a Health Care Professional I have an understanding of the personal impact such situations have on Clinicians but this situation has also broadened our understanding of the ‘Key Worker’ – it is not just those who wipe the ‘fevered brow’ but also the Refuse Collection Workers, the Prison Officers, the Policeman on the Beat and the Driver of your local Bus. All these roles underpin the functions of our society and by continuing to work they risked the dangers of Covid-19 on our behalf. I read a comment somewhere (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram?) that resonated with me and I mentally noted its importance ‘We may all be in the same ocean, but we are not all in the same boat’.

Whilst we have each had periods of ‘downtime’ with loss of energy and motivation I do think that having the children back helped each of us cope and kept us active. Without their presence I think it safe to say that husband and I would have just continued doing what we do, the two children were determined that the situation was to have more positives than negative and we became caught up in their thinking, taking on whatever plans were put forward. That we remained engaged, in turn, encouraged them to complete any necessary tasks so that the fun events were just that – fun.

Our latest event was an afternoon tea party to commemorate 75th VE Day. Again we were lucky with the weather, eating outside and dressing as near ‘1945’ style as our wardrobe permitted. But nothing lasts for ever and our daughter needs to return to Edinburgh – to continue ‘social-distancing’ whilst opening up  her home after 18 months and starting a new job.

Meanwhile our middle child decided that living in Stockholm with its lack of social distancing was too worrying  for her so, thanks again to modern technology and WFH ability, packed up husband and baby and moved in with father-in-law in the north of Sweden, in amongst a forest. Baby took so keenly to the wide-open space; Jane and Kasper now wonder how they will be able to take him back to the city.


Las Vegas to Phoenix Spring 2020

I first visited Las Vegas in 2018 – it was August, crowded and the average daily temperature was 38C. It would be no understatement to say I was not taken with it all. Yet, I had the feeling that I could have had a better experience.

This year I had the lucky opportunity to go hiking in Utah and Arizona in spring (and just before the Covid-19 virus impacted all our lives – so lucky indeed)

As my daughter was already in the USA we agreed to meet in Las Vegas and stay a few days.

To my surprise Las Vegas is so much nicer in the spring.

We stayed at Caesar’s Palace ( which is the size of a small town and an experience in its self. Our room overlooked the fountains at the Bellagio, a very nice view.

I take no enjoyment in gambling away my hard-earned pension and do not understand Roulette or Blackjack so the casinos had no real draw for me. Although we did try our luck on the ‘Slot Machines’ – so much more complicated than the old ‘one-arm bandits’ at the end of seaside piers. We played with a very small amount although can see how players can be drawn in for the possibility of a big win.

This visit was more pleasurable, not only because it was quieter and cooler, but due to what we did. We became tourists, eating outdoors in pavement-side bistros and visiting tourist spots such as The Mob Museum ( (real name The National Museum of Organized Crime and Law Enforcement). This was an informative and interesting presentation of an area of modern history. Normally my tolerance of museums is 60 minutes yet here I was, happy to spend the afternoon. Plus, the shop actually sold items that were both useful and reasonably priced.

Famous Neon Sign of ‘Vegas Vic’ in Fremont Street


We also booked ourselves on to a walking tour of the Downtown area ( Kelly, our guide was so knowledgeable as well as entertaining and  I would fully recommend booking this tour if you visit. Kelly shared so many insights that only a ‘local’ would know and his presentation style was fun and easy to follow. I could relate many facts that explain the nature of Vegas – but that would spoil the story for you.



In no time at all we were heading to Springdale, Utah in our hire car for 2 days hiking in the Zion National Park.

We stayed at the Desert Pearl Inn ( Again we were lucky with the view from our room – we overlooked a river and the distant hills. The gentle river became a raging torrent one morning after an overnight storm.

The national park entrance was only a 10 minute walk which meant we had no parking issues. The entrance fee was only $36.00 for both of us for 2 days and included access to the Shuttle Bus service.

( The Trails ranged from flat and wheel chair accessible to strenuous as well as The Narrows which required specific waterproof gear and courage.

If you do not want to hike but still wish to view the scenery you can board the shuttle bus at the Visitor Centre and do a round trip gazing from the window. Or, perhaps alight the Shuttle at selected stops, view the area then hop back on the bus (they seem to run approx. at 10 minute intervals).

We arrived in the evening on our first day so just walked a short distance along the Pa’rus Trail. The next morning we were up early and travelled on the Shuttle route to the end stop (Temple of Sinawava) . Before we set off on the Riverside Walk we watched an early group wading through the water to hike the Bottom Up Narrows.

Walkers disappearing into The Narrows

We had taken provisions and spent the day walking the trails, using the shuttle occasionally to travel between trailheads. We lunched amongst the rocks at Emerald Pools and gradually made our way back to the park entrance. The day was dry and sunny – and of course, we were so awestruck by the scenery we did not notice our necks were burning!

We had to change our plans for the next day as it had rained heavily overnight and continued to drizzle throughout the day. So, on with the waterproofs, we walked the Pa’rus Trail to Canyon Overlook – it certainly looks different in the rain. Once at the Trail Junction and having walked over 5Km we decided we were too wet and cold to walk another trail so hopped on a shuttle and went for a warming lunch.

Then it was a short drive to the next adventure – Glamping ( This was more comfortable than I had thought it would be and the tent, once the log-burner was lit, became very cosy. Then the rain worsened and I lay awake for hours listening to the thunder and wondering where we would be in the morning if there was a landslide!. We woke in the morning to calm – and cows grazing in nearby fields as if nothing had been amiss.

Following breakfast we packed up and headed towards Antelope Canyon. We had already been informed that our pre-booked afternoon tour of the Lower Canyon was cancelled so thought we would head to our hotel in Page and sightsee along the route. Whilst on the drive we were contacted and informed the Upper Canyon tour booked for the following day was now cancelled and the area closed in order to reduce transmission of the Covid-19 virus. Very understandable, although disappointing. (

A swift change of plan and re-booking of hotels and we decided to head to Sedona, Arizona which was our final stop and stay an extra night.

To break the journey we stopped at Horseshoe Bend – nature at its most magnificent! It almost made up for missing out on Antelope Canyon.



Emma at Horseshoe Bend overlook

Although we spent 6 hours in the car the scenery and wide roads ensured it was not the painful experience it would have been on the cramped roads in the UK.

Arriving in time for dinner in Sedona we ‘googled’ the eating possibilities and discovered an Italian restaurant within walking distance. Called Gerado’s Kitchen ( They do not take bookings so we decided to go straight away – and so glad we did. It was Saturday night and the queue grow very quickly. Luckily we did not have to wait long, nor were we rushed once seated. Great food and atmosphere and hidden off the main road it had a very authentic atmosphere, fully recommend a visit.

View from hotel (Sky Rock Inn at Sedona)

Next morning we were up early and soon hiking in the hills. Parking at the trailheads can be a problem as the car parks are fairly small so parking along the roadside is common (although not popular with the those who live there).

There are a large number of trails to chose from, with a variety of difficulty, so we focussed on two main areas. A selection along the Soldiers Pass Road where I especially liked the Teacup Trail – not too strenuous, fairly flat with well laid paths. On our second day we headed to Long Canyon Road and were at the trail-head for the Devils Bridge Trail by 7.30.

Starting out on the Devil’s Bridge Trail

This hike was more challenging and there was a section near the Bridge that I filmed from a distance whilst my daughter courageously jumped the bridge and waved back. Truth be told I was so far back that the photograph was actually taken by a kind Australian lady.

Emma on Devil’s Bridge

Heading back to the car at 10.30 we noticed the crowd had grown and the sun was warming so being out at dawn had been a good choice. After a second breakfast back in Sedona we headed out looking for a trail that had been recommended to us – we never found it but did spend the afternoon walking short scenic trails amongst trees that were showing signs of spring and on the ground flowers were starting to bloom. Occasionally the land widened and we would find ourselves back among the Red Rocks mountains.

Again, we were lucky with the weather which helped as we constantly had to change plans as the impact of Covid-19 being more evident. We had booked a night hike which involved Star-gazing and a Hike/Yoga afternoon both of which were cancelled. So, we just walked – the large spaces made social distancing easy to manage.

The city of Sedona is in a beautiful setting, was spacious and clean. Everyone was friendly and unhurried. I would certainly like to visit again.

We had planned to spend the final morning staying in the city itself before heading to Phoenix and our evening flights, unfortunately my flight had been cancelled and I was re-routed via Dallas leaving on a morning flight so instead we had a dawn drive to the airport.

Despite the constant changes to our plans the holiday had been totally enjoyable and of course – I will need to return so I can visit Antelope Canyon.







Attitudes to Ageing Well – some Literature

Is there life after retirement – could a career change in the mid 50’s encourage a longer more fulfilled working life, especially for those ‘just filling time’?

The above question reminds me of how a new puppy often encourages an older dog to be more active – a renewing of the spirit.

There is an acknowledged changing attitude towards ageing, even governments are noting this:

Age is often said to be a ‘state of mind’. Although, that outlook depends on personality, character traits, physical health and life’s experiences – so it’s difficult to identify each person’s take on the subject.

Changes to the age at which the State pension can be claimed in Britain  ( ) alongside changes in the law regarding private pensions have both contributed to a revisit/rethink of when to retire and now offers a greater flexibility.

Employers are also more open to discussions with employees in regard to reducing hours and/or taking a ‘Step Down’. Big companies have realised the benefits of retaining skills in the workplace. This does not impact negatively on the younger population – by retaining those with experience of the organisational purpose, values and future aims a mentorship and learning environment is offered to those entering the workplace.

Another opportunity for those coming towards the later stages of working life is to ‘re-learn’ and embark on a different career. Often we underestimate the transferability of our skills and learning so taking up a new challenge does not have to be a 3 year degree or apprenticeship but a widening of skills we already have.

Ageism – is this a form of prejudice or discrimination? Does the term present an out-dated picture of society’s older generation? Can the term promote social exclusion and isolation, which impacts on both physical and mental health? This document    identifies some actions that can introduce positivity around ageing from a young age as well as in working environments (diversity of age groups)

The following link is to a document of selected articles on attitudes to ageing and older age.  Comprised of short abstracts it provides an overview of attitudes and experiences of ageing, with links to further reading.

So when to retire – or even more of a question – when to consider ourselves old? Recently an article in The Times (pg 4 20.11.2019) suggests that old age should now been redefined as 70 not 60 as previously measured (I have been given back my youth 😊)

Psychological wellbeing and physical health are closely linked and this is especially noted in the older age groups.

Wellbeing can be described as ‘satisfied with life, sense of fulfilment, acceptable level of achievement, mobility, independence.’ is a link to an academic work describing the benefits of promoting well-being through physical activity (a very simple explanation, so read article if you want to know more)

There is an increasing amount of published literature relating to ‘Ageing’ which address both the practicalities and the theoretical. Some present it as a challenge to be overcome – full of useful advice on maintaining cognitive and physical health. Others, more cheerfully, present a different view – a redefining of the ageing concept, an alternative approach, a widening of opportunities.

As I noted earlier, ageing is a concept of the mind and each individual handles it differently and none are incorrect. If it is your desire to retire to ‘slippers, gardening and afternoon TV’ then enjoy. Others look on retirement and ageing as an opportunity to broaden/expand experiences building on the ‘life/skills blocks’ already achieved.

You chose whichever model of ageing is right for you and reading available literature can be both informative and guiding.  In his book ‘The Wisdom Years’ Dr. Zui Lanir presents his developing theory that there can be purpose for the increased life expectancy our generation are enjoying, that the period between adulthood and old age is a period of wisdom. This period can be one of discovery and personal empowerment. That is of course a very simple explanation of an interesting concept so please read the book if you wish to gain further insights on how to enhance fulfilment in later years.

There are many articles available on the internet offering personal reflections of retirement. Below are a few that may be of interest, some scholarly but all are easy to read and not overlong.

Hopefully some of the above is useful to you as you plan the next stage of your life. A period that should add to your portfolio of life rather than diminish it.


Photo acknowledgements:

Photo by Nayani Teixeira on Unsplash – Featured Image

Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash – End Photo

Photo by Chetan Menaria on Unsplash – Photo 1

Photo by Hope House Press – Leather Diary Studio on Unsplash – Photo 2


Bowes Museum and Norman Cornish, a cultural start to 2020

An empty house following the Festive Season meant I could escape the domestic scene for the day, a break from cooking and cleaning. The weather was kind as for once the sun was shining and the sky was blue as I headed to Barnard Castle and Bowes Museum.

Bowes on a sunny winter’s day
A sculpture in the grounds among the Woodside Walk and play area

A popular setting for frequent visits although today I was focused on the Norman Cornish exhibition (there until February 23rd 2020)


Note – those with children may  be interested in the Lego Trail within the museum – keeping the young visitors occupied whilst you look at the exhibits, it appeared very popular and well planned.


Born in Spennymoor at a time when the local Durham pits were still active, the artist spent his life portraying ‘moments in time’ and therefore leaving, as his legacy, a picture history of a bygone culture.

Norman Cornish started his working life at a local pit and only committed to painting full time as his reputation grew and commissions increased (although from my further reading I noted that this was not an easy decision and he needed much encouragement).

The entrance fee to the museum covers all the exhibitions so I worked my way to the Cornish exhibits via both the temporary and static exhibitions – an interesting hour, especially the small although informative showing of fashion photography by Chris Moore. Not a name or genre I am familiar with, his narrative accompanying a video of catwalk fashion was very insightful.

The Cornish exhibition is not vast, enough to illustrate his technique and talent whilst also planting a seed in the viewer for more information regarding other works. Of this, so I discovered, there is plenty to be found locally. He was born in November 1919 and so many local galleries and museums celebrated his centenary – for example Spennymoor, Bishop Auckland and Durham – with displays.

Two things came to my mind whilst standing in Bowes museum. First, listening to a comment from a fellow viewer who had noticed that there are very few of his characters smoking. Once I heard this, I searched the paintings and also then wondered why this was. I am of an age to recall that smoking was a common habit and the majority of Pubs were ‘smoke filled’ yet in his paintings very few of the men were smoking nor is there an impression of the ‘indoor fog’ that normally inhabited the pubs and inns.

Secondly, the majority of buildings he painted are still standing and I noticed, and collected, a leaflet titled ‘Cornish – The Norman Cornish Trail’ which described a short walk around a section of his hometown highlighting the scenes he painted.

The sun was still shining and as Spennymoor was only a short detour on my way home I thought I would follow this up. Encouraged also by noting that ‘Edward Street’ was one of the stops on the trail. Of all the paintings in the exhibition this was the one I had most admired. Just an ordinary wet autumn day, the rain so obviously falling that I thought if I touched the painting my hand would come away wet.

Once at Spennymoor the start of the trail – Town Hall – was easy enough to find and yet I failed right away. I went right instead of left and so was at Item 10 not Item 1!

Notice Stand at each Trail Point


Deciding to stick with it and go backwards did not make any difference.  I came across others also undertaking the trail and was greeted by ‘locals’ who are used to seeing such visitors to their town. The pride in the ‘local boy’ was obvious, and some stopped to share a little knowledge or pointed out the next stop on my list – one even noted I was going backwards.


Edward Street looks so different now compared to the painting as cars are now parked on both sides of the road making the area look cramped and narrow, different from the original scene with no car insight. St Paul’s Church still stands proud at the top of the street.

St Paul’s Church
Rosa Street School


Rosa Street school is still active although surrounded by modern housing.


Zebra Crossing


The Zebra Crossing that Cornish often used illustrating everyday life, such as children heading to school, was easy to find – and it looks very unchanged, even the shop fronts were familiar.

Before leaving the town, I called in The Bob Abley Art Gallery adjacent to the Town Hall, which has a permanent exhibition of local artists many of which show scenes of Miners at work before the landscape changed forever.

View from entrance of Bowes museum

Keeping Those Legs Moving

One concern I had about retirement was in regard to my physical fitness. A challenging stressful job encouraged me to attend the gym regularly and to walk whenever possible. I wondered if I lacked the discipline to maintain any ‘’keep fit’ regime. To encourage myself I undertook the ‘Couch to 5K’ challenge ( and committed myself to writing regular updates.( – link to first of Blogs relating my experience)

I am not a runner by nature and I still dislike the activity, but I did complete the challenge. I then went on to gradually increase my distance until one day I ran 10Km in 1 hour and 15 minutes! And that was it – or so I thought. Having achieved such a level of fitness I am determined to maintain it for as long as possible, although not as a runner. So, what else is available?

I must acknowledge that some people enjoying running – as noted by the following link – uploaded by a Blogger who does enjoy a run.

I regularly attend a local gym. Although I use the equipment – Cross Trainer, Static Bike and Treadmill – I have not yet attended any of the group activities (available at no extra cost). I really must investigate these and try something.  As I already attend a Iyengar Yoga group elsewhere I thought I would look for something with a faster movement – Zumba Gold? I am not a natural dancer so this will be interesting ?

The importance of maintaining fitness is well documented not only for your physical state but also, very much so, for your mental health.

There are an increasing number of ‘Retiree’ Blogs and keeping fit and active is a common topic. I have inserted links throughout to some of those I found such as a general website with an overview of fitness – there are some  downloadable resources which may be of interest.

Of course, keeping active is not only about running a marathon or going to a Kick-Boxing class – it is equally important to both enjoy what you are doing and to challenge yourself. (it is often said you should scare yourself at least once a day!)

If golf, hiking and/or sailing make you happy then doing these activities will add to both your physical and mental well-being just the same as swimming 3 miles before breakfast.

We talk about physical fitness yet not so much about mental fitness – except to worry about Dementia. A topic so much in the newspapers now, accompanied by reports of the lack of available treatments and the difficulties of early diagnosis. Enough to invoke the stress and anxiety often stated as a contributory factor! Although both my parents lived until their late 80s their latter years were blighted by the diagnosis of Dementia. So, I have first-hand experience of how the disease impacts on quality of life and the extended family.

Keeping mentally active by learning new skills, maintaining social interactions and physical fitness – alongside eating and sleeping well – are all factors often cited as beneficial to retaining mental agility. – general overview of retaining mental alertness – includes links to free downloads with information about how to stay mentally fit in your later years.

Short term memory issues such as ‘forgetfulness’ are common in all of us – who hasn’t been half way up the stairs and forgotten why you are going, or put the milk in the pantry and bread in the fridge?? When young we put this down to lack of concentration yet for the majority of us ‘oldies’ we worry that Dementia is setting in. Well, it might be but in reality, it is more likely to be as before – lack of concentration.

Social isolation is often noted to be a contributing factor to poor mental health so it is important to talk – join in family/friends events, accept invitations to gatherings, join a regular group activity local to where you live.  Joining a group/club that meet regularly may sound frightening if you don’t like meeting strangers so remember – everyone in the group was new once and would also have been anxious at their first attendance. ‘Strangers are only people you haven’t met yet’. If going alone is an issue then perhaps contacting the group leader prior to a meeting would help. An introductory conversation giving you information about the group may even inform you that you do know some-one who attends. – general advice on staying social and avoiding boredom (it’s detrimental to your health) – the focus here is avoiding loneliness and isolation (which can lead to depression and lack of motivation) this winter

Working naturally provides opportunities to interact with others both at work and at work-related social events. This avenue of communication is often closed once retirement occurs so by acknowledging this when planning your retirement loneliness/isolation can be avoided – by identifying interest groups, starting a new hobby etc before retirement starts.

If you already feel the need for assistance with loneliness contact Silverline – a telephone friend will work with you to re-ignite your social confidence. Telephone number is 0800 470 80 80.

A very simple way of maintaining self confidence in social surroundings is to just leave the house. Yes, just put on your coat and go for a walk. You will be surprised how many others are also out and about, doing the garden, walking the dog etc. If you acknowledge their presence, then 99% will respond. Use the bus instead of the car where possible, as well as reducing your carbon footprint, you will be surprised how easy conversations start whilst at the bus stop.

In general – maintaining social interactions promotes both mental and physical health – so, put on your coat and keep those legs moving.

Further general information in links below: – another easy to read site with general advice. Does highlight the need to be honest with yourself, sticking to your plan or changing it – disinterest encourages apathy as we all know. – Okay, so this Blog is not necessarily about Retirement and fitness but is worth a read if you fancy moving the legs faster. Am guessing that you do not even have to be overweight – just keen to join in, yet aware you may be out-of-practice or needing a bit of encouragement. site with general information presented in an encouraging motivating manner, includes links to other sites for further in-depth information. – original article written in 2018 with links to further information.

Photo Acknowledgements:

Photo by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash – Featured Image

Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash – Zumba

Photo by David Goldsbury on Unsplash – Golf

Photo by Eddy Klaus on Unsplash – Man Painting

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash – Family Group

Photo by chelsea ferenando on Unsplash – women in coat

Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash – End Photo


Collated Insights on Bereavement, Family Woes and Happy Times

2019 has been a time of big changes, births, graduations and the death of my remaining parent. Alongside the physical tasks required following these events it is surprising how such changes alter individual life patterns and personal reflections.

Our first grandchild arrived safely in May. What kind of grandparent I would be had not really entered my consciousness (I was not one of those who eagerly anticipated a baby anytime my adult children appeared to be in a ‘serious relationship’) and, to be honest, my main concern during my daughter’s pregnancy was that everything went well and mother and baby came through the experience alive.

Being a grandparent has brought changes, although our experience is not very ‘hands on’ as the new family live in Sweden. It is different in some ways – a different language and different child-rearing customs needed to be recognised and – similar in others, in that it is lovely to have a ‘little person’ in the family and it is good to observe the new parents growing into their role. And, very good they are too.

Modern technology/software such as FaceTime has shown itself to be invaluable as we happily disperse advice and answer questions whilst also being able to watch baby develop. Obviously ‘advice giving’ is fraught with danger so I consciously state ‘this is what I would do, other options are ……… ‘

Just as we were growing into this new role and embracing the ‘next generation’ my mother’s health declined, and she passed away one Sunday morning. Poignant timing as we were in Stockholm visiting the new baby.

Her funeral arrangements had been made some years previously – she suffered with Dementia so it was important that she was involved in the planning whilst able to state her wishes. Despite this there was still plenty of tasks to arrange and complete.

There was no will so assistance and advice was required from the Probate Office   ( ). The estate is small and in good order yet still the process is time-consuming with many people to contact and numerous forms to complete. The wheels of bureaucracy do grind slowly, and I sympathise with anyone having to administrate a large estate. So once again, I encourage anyone reading this to write a will ( ) and to arrange a Power of Attorney                                                     (

As well as the practicalities there is also a grieving process to work through. No matter how expected the death of a relative or friend it still comes as a shock. Alongside the increasing Dementia my mother was 86 years old and becoming prone to Falls and Infections so her decline in physical health was obvious to us all.

As we worked through the funeral arrangements I became aware that I was dealing with the ‘tasks process’ and not addressing the ‘personal-to-me’ part of bereavement. Then, the realisation that I had not really addressed my father’s death 2 years earlier. At that time there was a lot to do and I spent many months sorting out a chaotic financial muddle and due to the family dynamics it was not straight forward. That had distracted me from acknowledging his death (links to Bereavement advice at end of article)

I had left home at 16 years old to begin a career in nursing (in the days of the Cadet Nurse) and had never moved back. I visited regularly and despite these visits declining as the years passed, I still phoned to speak to my parents most weeks – working life, marriage, children and living approx. 200 miles apart does impact on these relationships even with the best of intentions.

Yet despite regular conversations I was not aware that they were struggling with their situation – looking back I now realise that Mother was covering up her fears and concerns, making light of their declining years and not being open about failing health.

I understand that this is common with elderly parents. The need for independence, the reluctance to admit that handling difficult situations is now too much of a burden and it is easier ‘to let things slide’.

A sudden illness requiring emergency admission of my father to hospital was the eye-opener for me. Rushing to the hospital and meeting my mother at the entrance I recognised that she herself was not well. Then a sudden realisation that despite her claims of ‘everything will be fine’ we knew the time had come for interventions. I was glad of my NHS insights and knowing instinctively who we should talk to – hospital staff, Safeguarding teams, GP etc. Eventually both parents were identified as requiring 24-hour care and became residents of local Care Homes.

Although I hear negativity about Social Service departments I can only comment from my own experience which was very positive. I felt listened too and supported and they worked with myself and siblings to identify the correct care setting for both parents. This did result in them being in two different Homes although arrangements were made for regular visits and contacts.

Emptying the house was a mammoth task although as we progressed the evidence of a declining ability to cope showed itself – ‘how did we miss this’ was a question asked frequently. So, although not able to cope with what was happening to them, they were able to develop ‘coping mechanisms’ to hide this from us and they obviously did it well.

The positives that did come out of all the trauma was, once in a Care Home setting they both improved physically and as Mother’s Dementia progressed it was re-assuring for the family that she was safe, secure and cared for.

So alongside the conversations with Health Care Professionals we were also having dialogue with Landlords, Banks and Utility companies etc as well as the Office of the Public Guardian as there were no Power of Attorneys in place. Then before all this could be resolved Father’s health declined and he died – which takes me back to the origins of this tale.

I became so caught up in the practicalities of the events – funeral arrangements, accessing funds to pay increasing debts such as Care Home Fees and funeral costs and supporting the family that it never occurred to me I had never taken even 5 minutes to sit down, take a breath and reflect on his death.

It took me until my mother’s funeral, to acknowledge this. My parents were both in their late 80’s when they died. They had been young adults when starting a family so myself and my siblings were ourselves reaching retirement age. As a consequence their deaths were not totally unexpected yet their absence does alter the family structure and we are, to all intents and purposes, orphans.

Bereavement is individual to each person and we all handle such life events in our own way. Often this is an unconscious process and whilst for many loss and grief display themselves through tears and visible sadness it can also be evidenced through stress, anxiety and increased susceptibility to minor illnesses. Unresolved this can lead to longer-term illnesses and effects on mental health so obtaining information from local Bereavement Groups and websites etc can be supportive during the grieving process.

Yet life moves on and adjustments in the family relationships are made, consciously or otherwise. Meanwhile Baby is growing well, developing his own character and having visited us recently I have had very ‘hands on’ experience of the role of Grandma.


Photography Acknowledgements:

Photo by Jean Gerber on Unsplash – Featured Image

Photo by Sarah Kilian on Unsplash – Lamb

Photo by Jan Schulz # Webdesigner Stuttgart on Unsplash – Misty Hill

Photo by Helloquence on Unsplash – Paperwork

Photo by Micheile Henderson @micheile010 // Visual Stories [nl] on Unsplash – Couple

Photo by Erda Estremera on Unsplash – Dog in Box

Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash – Frog















Marmalade,Mad Dogs and Englishmen

Yes, we are in the middle of a heatwave but I had signed up to enter the Marmalade competition at our local Agricultural show in a few weeks’ time. The Seville oranges were in the freezer – well, they have a very short season around February time and I hadn’t wanted to make the preserve that far in advance. My diary for the summer is fairly full so it was now or never.

I spent the evening juicing and chopping the oranges. I used a Delia Smith recipe but, honestly, all those that I read were so similar I could have used any.

Up early the next morning to beat the heat of the day. My oven is a Rayburn – a joy in the winter but not so great in a heatwave as it maintains its cooking temperature for ages after use.

Oranges boiling into Marmalade

The recipe stated that the ‘setting point’ would be reached approx. 15 to 25 minutes after the mixture reaches a rolling boil – my pot of oranges took 40 minutes. This often happens and I think it is something to do with the Rayburn’s heat distribution so had factored it into my  plans (part of why I needed an early start).


Marmalade and Sorbet – oven companions (Note Star Anise)


When I had defrosted the oranges I realised I had more than was needed so as well as making marmalade I also made an Orange Sorbet.

I chose a recipe from the Internet, too hot and bothered to trawl through my recipe books and I found one that only needed 3 ingredients. Orange juice, sugar and Star Anise – mixed, boiled, removed Star Anise, once cooled into the Ice Cream maker then in the freezer for a few hours = Dessert ?

Delicious with Coconut and Lime Ice Cream and I think Star Anise added a background dimension

Photo Acknowledgement:

Dog Photo by North East Courier






A Quick Trip to London


One benefit of having a husband reluctant to fully engage with retirement is that he still goes ‘to meetings’ and often these are in London. So, having only small expenses to pay (my travel costs and hotel breakfast) this is a cost-efficient way to enjoy a visit. Early July offered such an opportunity and we planned a very busy 48 hours, as it turned out we were perhaps too keen although dry sunny weather helped.

Our first excursion was to the Prince Edward Theatre to see ‘Aladdin – the Musical’. The story line was that of the 1990s Disney movie rather than the original tale of wizardry and treachery so very suitable for family viewing. As with the movie the Genie is the star of the show – witty and expressive (similar to Robin Williams in 1992, I have not seen the latest remake with Will Smith in the role). The production is very spectacular with seamless scene changes and vibrant coloured costumes. Unfortunately, in the second half, there was a technical ‘glitch’ which delayed the production for 20 minutes. This was a shame as it spoilt the atmosphere in the theatre. Once re-started everything worked perfectly although the audience rushed off once it had finished so there were no curtain calls for the cast, which I think they deserved.

Leaving the theatre at 10.30 (much later than anticipated) – too late for dinner but in need of something before bed – we had only walked a short distance when we came to to ‘Il Cucciolo’. It stays open until 11.30pm so we dived in for a plate of pasta and a glass of Italian wine – a lovely end to the day.

The next day we had booked a guided walk and as it did not start until 1.30pm at Temple Tube station near the Thames we decided to go there late morning and wander along the river.

But first, early lunch at Somerset House. When the weather is good the courtyard is a very relaxed setting to watch the world go by (or in this case watch numerous toddlers chase the pigeons whilst my husband wondered how long it took for the birds to tire of the pursuit).

The guided walk was named ‘Hidden London Walking Tour’. As it was so interesting it seemed to flash by in 5 minutes – actually it lasted approx. 1.5 hours but felt like 5 minutes – I have written a separate article ( ).

Although there are occasional steps the route taken was easy to navigate. Gavin, our guide was entertaining, enthusiastic and very informed and this contributed to the success of the trip. Although I have visited London numerous times when working – and walked in the area between meetings etc so much of what he showed us was new to me. I now wonder how often I actually looked where I was going!

Having no firm plans as to what we would do with the rest of the day – and there were many options – we decided to go to Wimbledon and join the queue. We both have played tennis and do follow the sport, especially the Slams, so felt this was an opportunity not to miss. Whilst my husband had visited Wimbledon in previous years, and will always mention his great aunt Ethel Thomson Larcombe who win the 1912 Ladies singles competition, it was my first visit since childhood (and that school visit was outside of the season).

As expected the queue was long – very long – and we were happy to settle on the grass and enjoy an ice cream. When it was our turn to move (after 2 hours) and commence the walk through the waiting area, along the path and to the entry gate we had not realised that there were only 6 matches in action – 3 of which were on the Show courts and therefore not accessible to us. The 3 remaining matches were mostly in their final set, the ‘Resale’ office was closed and ‘Henman Hill’ was already over-crowded so the prospect of watching any tennis was minuscule.

Even though we had waited patiently for all that time, if we had been informed of this, we would have left rather than pay £18.00 per head to walk around a crowded arena, be crushed on the steps near ‘the Hill’ and then find the Museum was closed. I understand that due to the good weather and that many matches not being taken to a ‘final set’ everything was on schedule but still, I feel we should have been informed at the gate.  The one thing of cheer – as there were so many empty seats on Court 2 we were allowed in to watch a mixed doubles match nearing its end. So, I was able to see Heather Watson and her partner win and what a lovely person she is, smiling and engaging with the spectators.

The completion of play on the centre court coincided with the end of play on Court 2 so we then had to join the thousands heading to the Tube station. This was pleasanter than it could have been – slow steady progress, held at the station entrance until safe to enter the platform, trains appearing every 5 minutes. A constant stream of precision and patience. Transport for London (TfL) at their best.


Our final day was spent attending the RHS Flower Festival at Hampton Court Palace, one of my favourite historical sites although we did not have time to visit the Palace itself.

The festival is very popular although due to the amount of space I never felt crushed by the crowd, helped by the day being sunny, dry and not too hot. There were many gardens that we already know of – ‘Back to Nature’ co-designed by the Duchess of Cambridge and the Springwatch Garden.

Back to Nature Garden at RHS

There were workshops and presentations on a variety of gardening topics. We sat in on a couple which offered a chance to be in the shade and were interesting even to such a non-gardener as myself.  The gardens and displays, as you would imagine, were beautiful and my photos do not do them justice. We walked over 11 Kilometres so the train journey back into the city was a welcome rest.

Wave of Knife Crime – using knives recovered during an amnesty in London

Then it was time to collect our luggage and head ‘up north’.

July 2019



A Guided Tour of Hidden London

I enjoy learning the history of a city, how and why it developed its footprint, the buildings that grew, the ones that didn’t survive, it’s famous sons and daughters etc. I find such information enhances the understanding of a city’s character.

I was recently given, as a gift, an opportunity for a guided tour of Hidden London ( ). The alleyways and courtyards of the Temple District and Fleet Street were introduced to us by our guide Gavin. In 1.5 hours, we were led through the very unknown (to me at least) history and hidden gems. Now, I could describe the tour in detail but that would spoil the surprise should you be encouraged to go.

All I will say – as is so often the case – if you live in London you are likely to have walked by the alleyways and buildings and not looked up, stopped to view or understood in whose steps you were walking. At least that is how I felt – I was familiar with the area yet felt I had not seen it at all. Note to self – look where you are going!

The group, on the day I went, was made up of 10 people who were from out of the city. Gavin was very informed and shared his knowledge in a friendly and entertaining way – it was as if he was living the tale he was telling, which made it all the more real.

Trying not to give anything away yet sharing the enthusiasm from the walk is difficult. So, briefly, we started at a taxi rank, understood why wedding cakes look like they do, walked across a river without using a bridge or wetting our feet, learnt of hidden sanctuaries of famous authors (remember to touch the stone) and tourist scams.

We heard of the lasting influence of the Knights Templar, the particularities of famous figures and the uncomfortable origins of well-known nursery rhymes whilst walking amongst the evidence of more recent history.

What always surprises me in such busy crowded cities is how easy it is to be in a peaceful park and/or seating area away from the bustle so do ask your guide about the weekend access gate to such a place.



Boroughbridge – Off the beaten track

Visiting Ferrisby, near Knaresborough, for Sunday lunch at The General Tarleton we decided to go early and stop off at Boroughbridge. A town neither of us had visited although pass the A1 ‘turn off’ to it frequently.

Lovely sunny day for a walk and, from our arrival, the town was full of surprises. The town centre car park had a voluntary fee of £2.00 and an honesty box at the exit. A novel idea that we had never seen before, hopefully everyone paid up.

There were two things I noticed straight away – the shops were closed! So unusual these days to have Sunday closures. The cafes and restaurants were open with plenty of pavement seating on which to watch the world go by. Or, in this case watch the cyclists – the town appeared to be a popular cycling route with many riders tending to their bikes or taking a break in the cafes. The colours and styles of Lycra fashions were an interesting addition to the flower displays.

The second thing I noticed was the main shopping streets were full of independent shops and not the Boots, WHSmith’s etc that I had expected. So, although glad to see that the shops were closed on a Sunday giving the retailers a rest, it was disappointing not to be able to call in to view the wares. Of course, it does mean we will be back one weekday.


Walking past one of the shops I noticed something rarely seen nowadays – the till cash drawer had been emptied and left open. ‘nothing to steal here – move along thief’. I am old enough to remember when this was a common site, an attempt by shopkeepers to prevent damage to their property by those forcing an entry.



Not far from the car park, near the War Memorial we came to a notice board with a ‘Town Tour’ and map which we decided to follow.







Although not long the walk was interesting, especially the sites of the 4 ‘Devils Arrows’. Amazing size and an untold tale of how and why such huge rocks were placed where they are. Many thoughts but nothing to confirm the facts, if only they could talk.

Surrounded by water – small becks, a river and a marina – we turned corners to be surprised by bridges, weirs and countryside views. Whilst the town may not fill a day it certainly is worth visiting – to break a long journey or to use as the start of a country walk.

As well as calling in to the Tourist Information Office the web links below have further information of the town and sights to visit should you be nearby.


And so, on to lunch. First time at The General Tarleton and would fully recommend a visit. many positive reviews and I would endorse them all – especially the young staff serving many diners and always pleasant.